she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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