peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
NoShamevember. You game?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
