My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
