I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize