Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i want to swaddle you in tequila
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
we're so committed to being not committed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
