before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
