Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
