So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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