dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
