i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
