So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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