Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize