This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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