Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
