Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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