is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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