Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
