Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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