i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
