You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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