just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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