Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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