i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
