susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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