You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
