Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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