Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
