I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
