im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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