i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
