I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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