lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
