I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize