Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
