just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
