He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
