My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
