She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
