I am puke
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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