Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
