He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
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