The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
