dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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