soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
