If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
