so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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