I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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