May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
