Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
