If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
