take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize