I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
