Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize