at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
