Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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