im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
vagina is talking i cant
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
