her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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