I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
