He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
